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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, it may have completely slipped their minds. [b]Our nanny is Persian, and I didn't even think of it - I asked her how her weekend was in a totally normal tone.[/b] And of course, she brought it up and we discussed it at length and I offered her my condolences and gave her space to talk about how she was feeling, and I'll check in with her about it all week (and especially her family - she's having trouble reaching people). But yeah, until she said something, I didn't make the connection at all.

My husband, who is admittedly an incredibly thoughtful person, of course texted me out of the blue to ask how the nanny was doing (he had left for work before she arrived).

While I'm far from perfect, I don't think I'm a jerk or anything. My brain just missed that connection. Can your husband reach out to his parents? "We're having a tough time here, Larla is so worried about all her relatives in Iran." Once they make the connection, they may immediately provide an outpouring of love and support, and you might feel better.

Forgetfulness and lack of caring aren't the same. Give them a chance.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, and I hope your relatives are safe. [/quote]

Dang! That's really selfish. If I were your nanny, I'd look for a new job. [/quote]

Just to defend PP—if her nanny has been here for 50 years (like many Iranians who call themselves Persians), came over as a child, and never mentions it, it may not be too of mind.  It’s different if she immigrated as an adult or more recently and talks about family at home … i have friends that immigrated as very young children with their parents and don’t have much connection with their home country— I sometimes forget they are immigrants.  [/quote]

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