Reply to Suspect DD's friend has an eating disorder, WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the sister and best friend of girls who struggled horribly with eating disorders, I agree with the PPs who are encouraging you to NOT assume her parents have this. My mother had an eating disorder as well and I believe that’s why she didn’t realize my sister’s behaviors were so problematic, and why I didn’t notice it either (I was away at college during the worst of it). I would start with the school counselor if you don’t know the parents.

For your daughter, I would recommend starting a dialogue about eating disorders both for herself and to help her not normalize really problematic behaviors for her friend. If I could go back in time I wish someone would have said to me really clearly, some kids stay to have disordered thoughts and feelings about food such as x,y,z. I look back now and when my friend was sick, I knew enough to know it was an eating disorder if I had had the vocabulary for that or known what to do, but it was 6th grade and I just didn’t have that or feel comfortable talking to my mother about those things (knowing she viewed being fat as a moral failing). These things flourish in the shadows, OP. You can talk to your daughter really calmly like you would about any other medical issue and make sure she understands that you will be able to handle it if she’s struggling too. [/quote]

One other thought- do either of them have access to any social media? We found out later my sister spent a lot of time on “pro-ana “ websites which basically praise disordered eating and teach you how to hide your disorder. These things still exist and are now on Instagram (and Tik Tok too, I’m sure). I would very carefully monitor your daughter’s media consumption and include a discussion about those types of influences when you talk to her. There are also videos of doctors and dietitians doing “rebuttals” to some of these very disordered posts (e.g. normalizing eating under 800 calories and things like that). [/quote]

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