Reply to Suspect DD's friend has an eating disorder, WWYD?

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Reply to "Suspect DD's friend has an eating disorder, WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t see what the counselor would do.  You may find her behavior concerning, but there is no objective way to know if her health is actually compromised.  What do you tell the counselor, she doesn’t eat at your house? She pretends to eat and doesn’t? It’s not like the counselor is going to do anything with this info besides maybe email the parent- but I don’t even know if they would do that. What would they say? Another parent reached out concerning your diets eating habits? How often is this kid over your house for you to feel you somehow have knowledge her parents don’t have?

I think the most you can do if state facts about what she is doing in your company to her parents: She refuses food we offer, she will only eat raw vegetables at our house, she pushes food around plate, she talks about losing weight…or whatever it is you have directly observed.  I think it’s fine to say you find this concerning/unusual.  The parents will likely say that they have noticed this too and are working on a plan or something like that.  [/quote]

I'm the one who suggested the counselor and pediatrician rather than approaching the parents.  But this was a suggestion bc OP is concerned about her own daughter.  These people can help her with her own concerns.

[b]If the kid really has an ED, there are likely some other unhealthy patterns in the house and telling the parents probably doesn't help much unfortunately.[/quote][/b]

I agree with this, unfortunately.  I was severely bulimic in high school, and looking back, I cannot believe my parents didn't know.  All my life, they commented on women's bodies, pointed out and disparaged fat people (their definition of "fat" would not align with most people's understanding of the word: I remember my dad walking in while I was watching a movie and then proceeding to start talking about how Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions was "chubby").  I was so sick, and my parents were so proud of how thin I got.  I honestly suspect they know I was vomiting and thought it was better than me getting fat.  I really do.  If someone had told my parents they thought I had an eating disorder, my parents would have mocked them (behidn their backs) for being overweight themselves.

I think my parents were most proud of me for being slim.  I have two graduate degrees, but the only time I remember my dad saying he was proud of me was when he was talking about how I looked in comparison to my same-age girl cousins at some kind of family event.

Her parents see.  There is a good chance they don't view her eating as "disordered" at all.  [/quote]

I remember when Nicole Richie was struggling with and ED and Lionel Richie was interviewed he said that she doesn’t have an eating disorder and that she just doesn’t eat too much.[/quote]

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