Reply to What to Do with an Unsafe Dad?

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[quote=Anonymous]How old are all these kids and what ages were they when all these incidents happened? Because some of this sounds horrible and some of it may be no big deal. If you are over the top about EVERYTHING, it isn’t going to help you here. Not giving a kid a bath every single day is not a big deal (if this is what you meant).

Focus on the few things that really, really matter — like water safety. The truth is that most parents have likely stepped out of the bathroom for a minute while a 2-4 year old was bathing. I’m not saying they should have, but it happens. I know I did it years ago on incredibly rare occasions for something urgent and, in my case, I kept talking to the kid or had them sing so I knew they weren’t underwater. Sounds like you can’t trust your husband to give them a bath until they are 5 years old or so.

The car safety thing, I’m really curious how old these kids were as they got out of the car by themselves. 3 or 8? Because there comes a point when kids do get out of the car by themselves.

But overall, you seem to have a benignly neglectful husband on your hands. It will likely actually get better as the kids get older — unless he becomes the parent pouting the shots for 8th graders. You need to function like a single parent on some issues to maintain safety. And see if you stick to a few issues if he can do better.[/quote]

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