Reply to Adult daughter overdosed - she's ok but ex-dh refuses to give me updates

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is harsh but sometimes it's easier to get clean WITHOUT parental involvement if your parents are themselves addicts or recovering addicts. [/quote]

Agree.  Also, the daughter already knows the dangers of drugs and alcohol having grown up with parents who are addicts or in recovery.[/quote]

Yes plus the op and ex husband hate each other.  She doesn’t need to be in front of two fighting addicts. It won’t help. She likely needs to get professional help, away from her parents. [/quote] I begged my ex when we separated NOT to go to war and to work it out amicably, that we are both still her parents and while we might not be right for each other we still share parenting. The divorce was his idea AND he went to scorched earth. So I'm sick of his BS. I have taken the high road for a very long time. Every time I think he has no bottom he finds another one. I asked that we maintain some family traditions around the holidays and be civil towards each other at a minimum. He is incapable. So now, yeah I'm really pissed.[/quote]

Op, you are contributing to this toxic environment for your daughter.  You've somehow turned her OD into being about you and your feelings for your ex.  You need to be able to put all that hatred aside for your daughter.  Also, as a recovering alcoholic, you must know that your plan to fly down and convince her to go to rehab isn't based in reality.  She needs to WANt to get better.  The hospital will be giving her info on rehab and sobriety.  Blaming your ex for the fact that she's not ready and doesn't want to deal with you flying down and NOT just providing support and love is not productive.  It's toxic for your daughter.  I know it's hard accepting some fault in these situations but please actually listen to what multiple people are saying.  [/quote] My plan was absolutely NOT to fly to see her and get her into rehab. It was to spend a few days with her after a traumatic experience and take care of her. Please keep up. [/quote]

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