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[quote=Anonymous]It might be targeted at you or it might not, it’s certainly not aimed at making it easy for you to attend, but the important thing is that you do what is best for your family without addressing the larger family issues that might be at play. Weddings tend to bring out the worst in people and it’s highly unlikely that trying to bring up problems will have a good outcome. It will only cause drama.

I did not leave my babies with sitters at such a young age and I did not bottle feed, so in your shoes I would not go to the restaurant nor would I take my newborn (immunity). I think it’s a mistake to ask for a change. Express regret that you can’t attend owing to having a newborn. Maybe send DH for an appearance if he’s comfortable. Send a nice gift. If pressured or questioned, just respond that you can’t leave your young baby and they are too little to be in a restaurant. Don’t give any more information than that. That is the answer to every question. And don’t entertain too many questions. Baby’s crying, I have to run. Hang up.

It sounds like the destination wedding is not in a home country for you and I would absolutely not be comfortable leaving my very young children with random sitters even if they are with an agency or whatever. That is just a hard pass for me. We found travel easy with our little ones, but many people do not. Just the distance is reasonable. In any case pick a reason, maybe there is an unavoidable work commitment or maybe you just don’t feel up to traveling. Politely decline with your one reason and once again stick to it. Don’t pick something that your parents could fix, like affordability.

People are entitled to plan their weddings however they wish, but an invitation is not a command performance. Be polite, be firm, and most of all, please enjoy your baby and little family as much as you can. And congratulations on your second![/quote]

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