Reply to The parent getting sick and dying phase is stressful on friendship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks to all who were kind. 
A lot of you misread this post entirely which is to be expected as so much is lost in translation on here. 
I am not at all judging friends for being caught up with aging and dying parents. Not in the slightest as that is normal and appropriate and I've been there and will be there again as I still have a living parent. I've been exceedingly supportive of friends (and expected nothing of them for months on end) when they went through this and I was incredibly supported by friends when my own mother was sick for a protracted amount of time and I couldn't reach out to anyone. My point is that this phase of life sucks because you lose people to this hard stuff for months at a time. Those who compared it to the phase of life when you have infant children were correct. I cherish my friends and miss them when I don't see them.

That's pretty much my only reflection: that this phase of life can be lonely as friends are consumed with hard parental stuff for months on end. As I was myself. Don't read anything more into my post. I'm not judging anyone. [/quote]

Fwiw I got this from your op. I think a lot of responders are missing that you accept that both things can be true. You said you totally understand that your friends need to drop out of social connections while they deal with important family matters. You also are sad or lonely because you miss your friends. From my perspective that's totally understandable. It is hard!

No advice, just commiseration. It's not narcissistic to miss people when they're not available. From a charitable perspective I can imagine that your heart is also aching for their pain and not being able to cure it. And it's hard sometimes to tell which friends want to be left alone and which would appreciate you reaching out. Feeling isolated doesn't mean you also don't acknowledge and accept they need to be away for a bit.[/quote]

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