Reply to "School isn't something that you do every day...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I agree with you

Before the 6 day closure we had gotten into a good homework routine with our 6yo. Then when school was out, no homework was sent and we got out of our routine. Obviously this is hardly the end of the world but it does have a real impact on kids.[/quote]

Parenting failure. It's never been easier to find free homework for your kids. AI can generate an infinite customized supply. [/quote]

Yeah why do we need school anyway amirite s/[/quote]

Because too many parents are incompetent so we need a public welfare offering to prevent their offspring from going feral. [/quote]

I love how folks are like "respect educators as professionals" and "don't tell us how to do our job" and also "you need to do our job for us, why didn't you know that"[/quote]

Creating a routine for HW is 100% the parent’s job.[/quote]

And assigning the homework is the teacher's job. I don't know if you have met any 6 year olds but they can tell when the "assignment" is coming from the parent.[/quote]

If you raised a kid who doesn’t listen to their parent the way they listen to the teacher that is on you.

[/quote]
That statement hits on a real frustration many parents feel — but it’s a bit more complex than “that’s on you.”

Kids often listen differently to teachers and parents for several psychological reasons:

### 1. Different environments, different roles

School is structured. Expectations are clear, consistent, and less emotional. At home, the relationship is deeper and more emotionally layered. Kids feel safest with parents — which ironically makes them more likely to test boundaries there.

### 2. Authority vs. attachment

A teacher represents formal authority. A parent represents attachment. Children push limits most where they feel secure. That doesn’t automatically mean poor parenting.

### 3. Social dynamics

At school, there’s peer influence, classroom norms, and visible consequences. At home, enforcement is often less immediate or less structured.

### 4. Novelty and external validation

Kids may try harder to please teachers because they want approval outside the family. Parental approval can sometimes feel “guaranteed,” so they don’t work as hard for it.

---

That said, consistency, boundaries, and follow-through at home absolutely matter. If a child:

* ignores instructions repeatedly,
* faces no consistent consequences,
* or sees rules constantly bend,

then yes — that’s a parenting dynamic that can be improved.

[b]But a child behaving better for a teacher than a parent is **extremely common and developmentally normal**, especially in elementary and middle school years.
[/b]
A more balanced version of that statement might be:

> “If your child respects their teacher but not you, it might be worth looking at how authority, consistency, and boundaries are handled at home.”

If you want, I can also break down practical strategies to close that gap without becoming overly strict.
[/quote]

A kid who behaves better in school than at home is a common thing.  School is very different from home.  It's more structured.  It's got peer pressure.

But the parent I quoted was talking about their kid doing worksheets at home that come from a teacher, and not those that come from a parent.  That's a different thing.

Also, the child in question is six.  So, saying "this is normal in middle school", which I'd agree with, doesn't apply.  [/quote]

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