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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People can rationalize anything. Some will tell themselves that they can't help it, that it's how they are programmed or they are just not strong enough. Others will normalize it, they'll convince themselves that everyone wants to cheat, and that more people do it than let on. Still others will blame their spouse for not meeting their needs. Some awful people probably even blame their kids, for stressing them out or for "stealing" their spouse away.

It doesn't matter what people tell themselves, what they think, or how they justify their behavior.

What matters is what people do.[/quote]

Why do they HAVE to help it? Because society says they do?

Maybe they are programmed this way and aren't strong enough. Everyone's brains are wired differently. Hence, addictions.

There's not a married guy on this earth who hasn't thought about/envisioned themselves with another woman. Maybe it's the neighbor, maybe it's Margot Robbie. Either way the same thing that has society believing infidelity is cheating also considers lust "cheating".

Maybe their spouse isn't meeting their needs. Lucky people find this out before they're married, the unlucky people learn it later on.

Society is so funny. Not everyone is the same, therefore everyone's norms aren't the same.

Cheater's justify why they did it and the victim of the cheating justifies that it's wrong. At the end of the day, it's all fabricated by society.

Devil's advocate for open relationships and justifiable cheating. We all only get one shot at this whole life thing. People have urges and act upon them. They're right to believe they did nothing wrong is just as legitimate as you're right to believe they did.

Again, different morals, different beliefs, different norms doesn't make one person right and someone else wrong. [/quote]

When her libido dropped we had an adult conversation about it and she agreed that it would be ok to open the marriage. Six months later she decided that it wasnt ok. She could have asked for a divorce then but didn’t want that and I didn’t think it was fair to have the terms changed unilaterally. I’ve kept the extracurriculars quiet so that she doesn’t have to be confronted by it. If she does find out then she can decide for real if she wants to divorce. [/quote]

Be a man and divorce her, she told you what she wanted and you are too cowardly to end it because you need her to be the bad guy.  Own your decision instead of being a sneaky lying cheater, she changed the rules, so it was in your court to leave.[/quote]

In truth she wasn’t all that clear. What she said was “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this anymore”. I’m willing to accept a return to intimacy, continuation of an open marriage, or divorce. I think the ball is really in her court still. [/quote]

The phrase “in truth” coming from you sounds as fake as your relationship.  Stop hiding in the shadows and end the cowardice, so you can become a man who is at least honest with himself.  You playing word games to avoid making the decision is the weakest thing I have heard in a while on DCUM.  [/quote]

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