Reply to I finally accepted my marriage is over, and I feel as light as a feather

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We will be 12 years married next month. The marriage has been strained from the get go. I have posted on this board many times. I was terrified to leave, and I refused to do it before kids as I was not risking not having kids (we have 2 and they are the lights of my life).

My youngest is 2 (old enough for 50/50 custody), and somehow something finally flipped in me; I am done accepting crumbs, and I’m not even mad anymore. I am going to move into the house I bought years ago (now a rental), and I feel light as a feather. I look forward to life again and don’t feel complete misery.

Anyway, just wanted to share. It’s amazing the physical sensation of complete relief I feel giving up on trying to get blood from a stone. I don’t care if I am single for the rest of my life, in fact I welcome it. I have a good job, 2 beautiful kids, and life is going to be grand.

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Good luck and enjoy the respite. You will need your strength for dealing with the hellstorm of shit and pain that is coming your way. [/quote]

WTF?  how do you know?  I’m so tired of all the sanctimonious posters who think divorce is the worst thing ever.  I’m divorced.  I didn’t want to be. We were in marriage counseling for five years for all the reasons people on here say you should stay together.  When I finally had enough, we split the assets evenly, he moved out, and we co-parent as well as we possibly could.  Yes the adjustment to 2 houses was hard for my kids, and I occasionally miss them when they are gone, but I am SO much more present when they are with me that I actually feel like I have them more now.  I was so beaten down and exhausted and just going through the motions before.  And the thing is, the kids know this too.  They have much better versions of their parents, and they are thriving.

[b]I will say - my ex and I work very hard to not make our divorce their problem.  If someone forgets something at one house or the other we just bring it over.  If a friend’s parent calls me to invite one over when they’re at their dad’s, I intermediate. If they’re with me on their dad’s birthday, I make cupcakes and send them over.   We dont play stupid games.  [/b]

Those of you who dont know what a toxic marriage looks like have no idea what you’re talking about.[/quote]

Why couldn’t you bring this sense of maturity and compromise to your actual marriage? [/quote]

You are exactly the type of person I’m talking about. Just because my ex is willing to drop off a pair of forgotten cleats does not mean he was capable of being even a passable partner.  We’re both much better off apart.  [/quote]

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