Reply to I finally accepted my marriage is over, and I feel as light as a feather

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought the same thing when my ex-wife and I separated.    I am free!   I am lighter!   I am out of my dead bedroom.   So on and so forth.

Reality was actually a lot more complicated.   I found myself missing some of my ex-wife’s good traits — traits which became illuminated more when she was gone.   When I tried dating again and had dud after dud after dud — it reminded me of the spark that I had with her when we first fell in love.   When I saw other people ghost me or treat me cruelly — it reminded me of ways that she was kind towards me and didn’t fully appreciate at the time.

I also found myself in a relationship that was actually much worse than my marriage was — there was lots of steamy sex but my partner was toxic, abusive, and hostile and used sex in manipulative ways.   I got out but it was tough.

That relationship was followed by several more years of being single and going through a lot of different emotions, loneliness, etc.

It was also strange because my ex-wife found a new husband right away and started popping out babies with him left and right.   I have no idea if she was actually happier but it sure seemed that way from her Facebook account and some sproadic messages.

Eventually, I did find another spouse — 8 years later.   She is a much better fit for me, we are deeply in love, and I am convinced now that this is the right person for me.

But it was a bumpy road and I did not fully appreciate how challenging it was going to be when the journey started.   I would not call it light or easy.   [/quote]
Lemme guess - you thought she was the problem when you were married? It was you all along, buddy. I'm happy for your ex-wife.[/quote]

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