Reply to Am I horrible for wanting a second version of life?

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[quote=Anonymous]My opinion is just that. I do not know what the research says. You deserve to be happy and you don’t need to put your life on hold. But I would be very careful in how you proceed with a relationship. You can go on dates and even have overnights at his place. I’d only have overnights at yours if your kids are out of the house. I would not introduce my kids to anybody until I had vetted him (background check) and was 100% certain the relationship would be leading to marriage. Why do I suggest a background check? I would always worry about a man having access to my children unsupervised. In addition, assuming he turns out to be the kindest, most trustworthy person, your kids will be heartbroken if they become attached and it ends.

DH’s mother had many boyfriends and a husband between her 1st and current. It was a very unstable upbringing for DH and his siblings. People came in and out of their lives (boyfriends and their kids, step-dad and his kids). It would have been ok if she’d been dating but the moving people in and out of the house was chaotic. Her 3rd husband came into their lives when everyone was teens and older and he is a wonderful, kind guy. She should have been more discerning. [/quote]

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