Reply to Am I wrong for refusing to host BIL?

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[quote=Anonymous]No, you are not wrong, and I am sorry your husband isn't backing you up. Your MIL... that is what it is. But your DH should also be thinking about not only your kids' safety but also just what it means for all of you to host someone with a drinking problem in your home -- the added stress and volatility.

I stopped allowing my BIL, who has a personality disorder and is prone to violent and angry outbursts, to stay in our house after an incident where he got in an aggressive fight with my DH, stormed off, and returned in the middle of the night after not responding to texts or calls. We had a baby in the house at the time and the entire incident was so stressful. So that was the last time I allowed him to stay.

However my DH has been supportive. I know he wouldn't have made that choice on his own (he also gets heavy guilt trips from his family wrt his brother) but he recognized it was the right choice after I told him it's what I wanted. It's very hard for him and I understand -- no one wants their relationship with their sibling to get to this point. But for us, a critical factor is that we would never allow an unrelated person who behaved this way to stay in our home. It wouldn't even be a question. So then you ask, why does the fact that this person is a relative change that? How does the relationship change the safety concerns? It doesn't. So there's your answer.[/quote]

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