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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since I got pregnant, a new side of him appeared. I’ve given him chance after chance, he has gone to anger management, his mother has tried to intervene, we have done a couple retreat, couples counseling etc.. and then insisted he speak with his doctor or I would leave, as an ultimatum. He got on medication, I was assured by his doctor “You will have the husband you knew before back.” He was back for 1 1/2 years and in this time we had a second child. However, his angry outbursts and cruel behavior returned. His verbal abuse just won’t stop.

So now that I got that out of the way, here is what I would like to propose.

We get divorced, shared legal custody, kids live with me, we live close enough that he still sees them every day by taking them to school in the mornings. Weekends he sees them for whatever planned activity he wishes (dinner, movie, taking them to sorts games etc). Essentially the same routine we have now but he will have freedom from me and can freely pursue other women. He also had an emotional affair (he claims nothing physical) so I thought to use his blatant interest in other women to my advantage. Neither kid wants to live with him.

Is this even a realistic thing to propose? I am terrified he will fly into a rage and do everything to hurt me, including bringing our kids into it, fight and obtain 50% physical custody just to spite me.

His anger has started to scare me and my older child. Normal dinner conversation and then I’ll say something like, “oh, I don’t remember that” he switches into this underlying rage with words like “Oh you want to argue? Because I am READY to argue..” and he’ll do it all red faced with a snarl.

I have not divorced so far because lawyer has told me if he fights it, he will most likely get 50% physical custody and then my kids have to live with him for half the time. They flat out do not want to. They have see how he rages and tip toe around him with me to avoid his anger.

It seems like no one understands my fear of them living with him alone. [/quote]

You can ask for it but he probably won’t agree, nor should he. For one thing he won’t want to pay child support based on you having 100% physical custody.

Stop putting this idea in your kids’ heads that they don’t want to be around their father. That’s a bad road to go down in a divorce situation. [/quote]

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