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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds mean and I could be totally off base, but are you and your dh every silly/fun? My kids wouldn’t do that stuff naked at that age, but they did when they were young and we thought it was silly. We laugh at farts and aren’t uptight if the house isn’t clean enough to have guests. Are you sure she just isn’t just a more free spirited kid and desperate for a connection? Again the naked thing is not super normal for that age, but if she’s been with uptight parents then maybe she’s just trying to push the envelope[/quote]

This is OP, and no I don’t think you sound mean, but this is off base.  My DH is silly, I’m less silly, but not zero silly.  I wouldn’t mind fart/potty jokes, but DD takes it too far.  Since she doesn’t get the nuance, it’s just easier for me to tell her to stop altogether the fart/potty jokes rather than say “well, it’s okay in this situation, but not this situation.”  Example of taking things too far: we got home at 10 pm, which is late for DD, but really late for DS, who was crashing.  DS was in bed, and DD came to his bedroom and farted at him.  DS started crying.  DD started laughing at him.  DH said to DD “It’s late.  Go fart in your own room” in a calm voice.  DD left, then came back and farted in DS’s room again.  DH now was annoyed and firmly told her to go to her own room.  DD got upset, came to me & and said that DH was being mean to her and “slammed” the door in her face (DH said he didn’t even close the door).

I do think she is trying for connection.  But I don’t think that doing things that we repeatedly tell her we’re not okay with is the way to go.  I also don’t think we micromanage her silliness, only the naked thing and anything that gets to the point of really bothering DS.  What I mean by behavior & me guiding her, it covers all areas, not just her being silly.  For instance, I got her an Apple Watch so we could better coordinate pick-ups, such as me texting her “meet me at Lot A.”  But DD will text me at say 3:25 when we’re supposed to meet at 3:30 with “where are you?”  I’ve told her “I have NEVER forgotten to pick you up.  At 3:25, I’m in the car on my way to you.  I can’t even text you back because I’m driving.  So what’s the point of texting me?  Please DO NOT TEXT ME unless I’m 5 minutes or more late.”  And yet she still keeps texting me like this.  I have so many examples like this where I give her very clear direction and she does not follow them. [/quote]

You are letting her get away with being rude.
And she knows she can get away with it.
She enjoys pushing her bad behavior on her family. It is just her character and there is no incentive to stop.[/quote]

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