Reply to Question for anxious parents: what are you truly afraid of?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm afraid of failing my kids by not providing the support or guidance or resources they need to do the following things:

(1) Get a good education - in high school, college, and beyond. I mean this very broadly, knowing that there are MANY versions of this, not just one specific path;

(2) Identify 10+ colleges (safety, target, and reach) where they feel truly comfortable they can thrive and develop, both academically and socially (and conversely, rule out the colleges where they do not feel they are likely to thrive); and

(3) Provide them with whatever guidance or resources they need to put their best foot forward and get a fair shake in this messed up admissions process that often feels more unpredictable and random than it should.

More broadly, I have little doubt that both my kids will be successful in life, though I have no clue what exactly that will look like.  Both kids are smart, hardworking, good with people, emotionally even-keeled, and surprisingly adaptable. Whatever path they take, I genuinely believe they will be fine!

So, I guess my fear is sadly self-focused. I feel a lot of pressure to "do right by them" - to help them navigate this complicated (and often seemingly random) process in a way that helps them be seen and evaluated for who they are. Truly "holistically," which is ironic . . . .

(Thanks for posting your quesiton, OP. Just writing the above "confession" has helped me step back a bit and remind myself that I need to chill the heck out. It's going to be ok. Yes, I'll likely miss something - or many somethings - or inadvertantly give them a bad steer or two. But in the end, I trust that they both can thrive and be happy in all many different environments while handling whatever ups and downs they encounter along the way. I just need to remind myself of that more often . . . . .)[/quote]

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