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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where do you get elder care social workers?  
Are they the ones that are "free" because they recommend facilities?[/quote]

Our experience was the doctors who work with elderly a lot had names of case managers, social workers, etc. they recommended. There are services where you hire a contact person to assess and check in, they can keep track of all medical info, advocate at doctor's appointments, get aides and a medical bed, etc. when needed. It's not cheap, but it's probably a lot cheaper than having to miss work, fly out, rent a car, prep meals for the fridge if your husband works too late to cook, hire someone to help with driving, etc. at home (if you prefer not to take advantage of friends and neighbors). It's one thing if they only have an emergency or 2 each, but our experience is it is many emergencies over the years. Sure, you might feel comfortable accepting some help from friends as you help your parents once, but they have their own sandwich, and I've kept my friends because I value their time and don't impose and feel entitled.

Having people hired nearby also cuts down on family drama. That person can communicate the difficult sibling(s)/backseat drivers and you don't have to deal with power plays, old childhood dynamics, etc. And when that emergency happens during some major storm, you have boots on the ground.

I have known too many people who did in their own health trying to be the good kid only to find the parents didn't appreciate it, the siblings didn't appreciate it, the spouse was burned out from double duty so many times and the kids were acting out. I also have 2 friends through support groups who predeceased their elderly parents-one from cancer, one from a heart attack.[/quote]

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