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[quote=Anonymous]My ex left suddenly, denying that there was another person. (There was.) He just went public with her, trying to pretend they just started dating, I guess. The kids were like, "We knew all along." I wish I'd know that. We listened to the coparenting therapist who said not to tell them. I didn't want to share gory details, but I could see how confused and blindsided they were (like me). They needed a narrative to make sense of how a marriage could end suddenly. Otherwise it sends the message that life is scary and people can up and leave suddenly for no reason at all. Kids were 7th and 9th grade for context.

Things are much better now that we can speak openly. They are still trying to have a relationship with their dad, but they see his issues (functional alcoholic) more clearly now too. I tell them, you don't have to like his girlfriend because your dad wants you to. You don't have to dislike her for my sake. You get to decide how you feel.

I'm an adult. I had adult emotional supports. But telling them the truth of their lives is not the same as emotional dumping. To not tell the truth is to do image management for an adult who is benefiting from your secrecy at everyone else's expense.[/quote]

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