Reply to Spouse told me I’m the reason they’re depressed

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Reply to "Spouse told me I’m the reason they’re depressed"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact that you’re here ruminating and concerned, and he’s off happy as a lark after his diatribe insult is telling. That’s not normal.

He’s abusive and accusing you of what he is doing. He is making others walk on eggshells and try to not let him explode or temper tantrum like a child.
Yikes. [/quote]

It's not healthy, but it's actually really common. People often project their unprocessed feelings, repressed/unaddressed traumas, and overwhelming emotions onto others to avoid having to be responsible for managing those things. It's not "I feel..." it's "You make me feel...". It's not "I'm overwhelmed/overstimulated" it's "You're too much/too loud/too _____". Once the unaddressed internal emotional conflict/overwhelm has been put on something/someone external, it's "over there" which feels much lighter to the person who doesn't want to or doesn't have the skill to address the concern directly. Now it's YOUR responsibility to fix MY feelings, not mine, and that's MUCH easier for me (for now)![/quote]

PP following up to say: this is incredibly common when starting therapy, during early recovery, or in any period of transition or extra stress (moving, grief/loss). Anything that reduces one's personal resources can slip into this dynamic[/quote]

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