Reply to How often do you tell your children no when it comes to affection?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean, I think I’m very affectionate, but I have an almost 14 year old who still wants me to put her to bed every night. By which I mean, she wants me to read while she “does her skin care routine,” have protracted discussions about what to wear the next day and then endlessly chat about whatever until she gets sleepy. It is like a 45 minute ritual. And she is now old enough that this might start as late as 9:15 at which point I’m exhausted. So I sometimes say “no” and that upsets her quite a bit. But really, I deserve my own time sometimes.

That said, I will be sad when this stops.[/quote]

I'm the PP above with the two very different kids.  I think it's also important to consider sibling dynamics.  My snuggly kid is my older one, and we did have to set limits like "I can't snuggle you right now, I need to stay with your brother on the playground equipment", just like we had to set limits like "It's brother's turn to pick and he wants to swing, so let's head over to the swings and you can swing too". (Note: my younger kid was running and climbing by 7 months, so there was definitely time when he was not ready to be on the playground equipment and needed to be contained if I was going to pay attention to his brother

Similarly, it's OK to say "I can give you a quick hug, but I can't spend 45 minutes pu)tting you to bed, because I'm helping your sister edit her college essay".

I feel like parents who say you can never turn down physical affection, either don't have a kid who craves it constantly, or they only have one kid.  [/quote]

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