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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, accusing someone of being a POS is subjective. The OP clearly doesn't want her son (fairly certain it's a son) to apply to more competitive and higher ranked colleges, going as far as threatening to "disavow financial help". Who is the jerk here? Imagine yourself being a sophomore, trying to get to the best college you can, and mom is disavowing financial help and thinking you aim too high? They never pushed for top colleges? Why, if the child is capable and wants to? "Turns out, they could be a good candidate" -- the kid is a junior, and the mom is surprised to find out her kid can get into top colleges? [/quote]

OP here, and I actually do want the best for them. I just want them to apply without lying, sleeping 3 hours when they could reasonably sleep 5.5 or 6.5 hours, and having the attitute that comes with that kind of deprivation (nasty, sour, mean, setting them up for mistakes that don't need to happen that they have too much hubris to realize are actually risky to their goals). The phone, as PPs have said, is absolutely not an issue. It's complicated. I would never disvow financial help. I continue to pay for every little thing they ask for related to competitions and trips, etc... I just FEEL this way.

I'm not really interested in advice from people who don't understand this very specific type of situation. Thanks to those who responded that do. I realize it's rare. [/quote]

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