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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister is 35-year-old and single and living in a major city that’s not Washington DC. Her behavior or the last few years I have felt so confused by and I’m hoping someone can help me get to clarity. I’m gonna try this pretty fact base but with some color because I am her sister.

1) she does not take care of her physical body. She doesn’t shower regularly, she doesn’t brush her hair, and she is very overweight. She stayed with us for a week and did not shower. She also doesn’t wear make up or color or hair, and generally thrifts and wears stretchy clothes. She just fundamentally does not take care of her physical body and appearance in a way that would match social norms.

2) she has an app that “rewards” her for getting things done, like washing her face. So she is obviously having a hard time doing these things.

3) she sleeps about 12 hours a night and then three hours a day. She says she has chronic fatigue.

4) she has been laid off from her last two jobs over the last three years, although she’s an engineer in tech and I work in the same space generally so that’s not necessarily a flag, but it could be.

5) when she is awake and hanging out, she is happy, bright eyed, quick to laugh, totally plugged in and lovely to be around. [b]She talks a lot about her friends, seems to throw dinner parties somewhat regularly,[/b] and has two or three clubs she is involved with, including dedicating about 10 hours a week to a food pantry every week. She is dying to date, but never gets second dates for reasons that I would assume have to do with bullet number one.

I am deeply concerned about topics one through four but then in the end she seems like she’s OK? But the fact that she can’t take care of herself is actually putting a bit of a wedge between us. She wants to go on trips and stuff and I just don’t wanna spends many days with a woman who has BO and it’s kind of a wreck.

What the heck is going on here? Every time I “know” it’s depression or something along those lines, something that I’ve seen before, she pops up, living her life, brightly and happily, but this cannot be OK, right? [/quote]

Do you know for a fact, OP, that your sister is indeed hosting dinner parties? I ask because a childhood friend of mine many years ago was struggling yet told me similar things. She lived quite a distance from me so I had no way to know that she was just telling tales so as to seem okay.

I also just want to tell the OP that she is a wonderful and caring sister.[/quote]

Op is mean and judgement and shaming her sister online.  [/quote]

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