Reply to Empty nest is not real until...When?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For me, my kids were financially self sufficient when they graduated from college and got real jobs. But then I was responsible for my mom until she died. Only since her passing two years ago have I finally felt untethered and have been able to focus on myself and my own needs and goals.

But from what I see going on around me, that will only last until either I have a grandchild or until either me or my spouse get sick. I am using this window of time to travel and exercise and enjoy my friends. I know it won’t last.[/quote]

How do you feel about it? It worries me sometimes. Like basically a woman is not a woman for herself anymore at any point once they become older (childless as well to some extent since you can have to take care of parents). It makes me feel a little selfish and sad and wondering if I can find some sort of balance between caring and being a good mom/grandma/child of adult parents and just existing for myself as well. I wonder how people (you, other women here, anyone!) tackle this or if people even usually have this thought.[/quote]

Does anyone ever exist soley for themselves, though? That seems sad. The elderly members of our family are constantly involved in doing for others, whether it is volunteering regularly at a food pantry, organizing protests, running a garden club, being a part of community activites at the assisted living home where they live, working on the board of a foundation, etc. People will always need each other in one way or another.[/quote]

I mean having days when you do not have calls about this issue or that issue or the need to do this for X person, like you can actually have a peaceful day to yourself without having to serve someone's needs. I very rarely have those. In fact, I couldn't tell you when I last did.[/quote]

I think it’s very situational. I rarely have to take care of anything for my two adult children. One is a sophomore in college and one in grad school.  I got them both settled in new living situations this past summer and now we pay tuition for the undergrad, rent and utilities are on auto pay and we have to make their travel arrangements for breaks.  Otherwise we typically text a few times a week and talk on Sundays. Are your adult children more anxious and demanding? My own parents are deceased and my partners’ are healthy and not needing much at the moment. (although we do worry about them at times).  My nest is already empty.  Both kids worked in their college towns last summer and likely won’t be home this summer except for short visits either. [/quote]

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