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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,

You MUST have this child evaluated. Her behavior is not normal. My kids and other relatives between themselves have bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, autism and severe inattentive or hyperactive ADHD, but they are not intentionally and consistently cruel. Your child's behavior reads like oppositional defiance disorder, which occurs in some instances of autism spectrum disorder.

If you're in the DC area, I highly recommend the Stixrud Group in Silver Spring, MD. Their psychologists are very experienced. A full neuropsych will last 2 days and about 8 hours and cost you upwards of 5K, depending on the battery of tests they give her. The tests are not the same for each individual, some will be added specifically to address descriptions of the patient from parents/teachers. They will determine which tests to give her in a two hour long conversation with you, plus questionnaires filled out by you and two of her teachers. They will also explain her test results in a feedback session, and write a detailed formal report, with recommendations for future management of any diagnosis, including school services and accommodations, targeted therapies, and psychiatrist follow-up for meds, if applicable.

Please call a psychologist's practice ASAP because the best ones have a few months of back-up and you need to address this before it gets worse. It will take years to fully understand what you can do with her, and what resources are at your disposal, once you have a diagnosis.

Best of luck. It's very hard.

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Me again. I posted before reading the other responses. "Therapist" is a vague term, and if you're talking about talk therapy, then it will be of no use whatsoever currently, because what she needs is an in-depth examination of how her brain works, if she's at all amenable to it. Therapists are not licensed to conduct neuropsychological examinations - only psychologists are, ones with PhDs. It's a completely different field of expertise. A therapist might be useful for the "victims", to seek ways to process their emotions :-) And for your child, in the future, in a DBT/CBT setting (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy / Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), to learn ways to be more self-aware and less reactive to others, but only if she recognizes she has a problem and wants to do better...[/quote]

I said above, but we are already in the process of having her evaluated.

She is in perfect 100 percent denial that there is any problem, and there is absolutely no acknowledgement of her own limitations or that outside guidance might help her in any way.  It's really a personality mix that seems impossible to work with, so we are planning on getting some professional guidance on that.  [/quote]

PP you replied to. I'm very relieved to hear your child will be evaluated! That's the first step in the process. I hope it's a full neuropsych? With complex cases such as these, a shorter eval (some providers offer just a few hours worth of tests to diagnose ADHD, for example, or conduct testing for private school entrance requirements) won't cut it, and you're basically wasting your money.

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We're starting with an evaluation through the school.  First, we'll see if that is sufficient to work with - if not, we also have a private eval that is more comprehensive scheduled as well. [/quote]

PP you replied to. It's free, but it will not even begin to scratch the surface, OP. School psychologists are not PhDs, they are not trained in the same way as private practice psychologists, they have access to the same (very expensive) diagnostic manuals, and on top of all that, they simply do not have the time to work with a student - and take them out of class for the equivalent of 8 hours of testing! School evaluations are made to quickly check if a child has a severe learning disability, developmental issue or severe attention deficit such that they would need accommodations in school. They absolutely cannot diagnose complex psychological issues such as your child seems to have. If you understand this, then at least you won't be led down the garden path if the school eval comes back with a label of "attention issues" or "red flag for autism - please explore further" or whatever else - they might be true, but they will not give you the full picture.

You will need to do a full neuropsych in the future. In case your child rations her goodwill, please be mindful not to waste it on efforts that will not lead to thorough examination.
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