Reply to When you look back, how much control in HS is too much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two adult kids.  My DD was very motivated and did extremely well in HS, college, and grad school without any oversight. My DS had no interest in HS.  Didn’t ever study and barely turned in assignments. I debated the same thing you are debating but ultimately I just told him the consequences if he didn’t pull things together.  He went to a mid-level college and didn’t do all that well his first two years.  After that, he pulled it together when he realized he’d need to get a job. Because we never did much for him I think he realized he was going to have to support himself and I think it scared him into doing something so he could get a job.  Now he’s doing very well in a job he likes.

Of course I can never know what would have happened if I had micromanaged him.  But my belief is he would have been worse off because I think it would have sent the message that he wasn’t capable of figuring things out for himself. [/quote]

What consequences did you tell him? Mine seems indifferent to what will happen many years from now or maybe he doesn’t believe me. Or are you talking about immediate consequences like taking his phone? [/quote]

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