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[quote=Anonymous]This is OP, in tears because of all this support.  I’m sure I do come across as defensive, because I am still judging myself, and I feel like a failure as a mother, even though my kids love me and I love them, because I know this is overall not a good situation.  It’s hard not to feel like it’s my fault.

I’m apprehensive to move to where my ex lives, because I’ve finally developed a career and something of a support system, and I would be starting over again.  I would also be playing into his game, supporting his career etc by relocating myself.  It’s just difficult.

I posted this to check the temperature on how being truthful would be perceived, and it’s confirmed that there is judgement around this. I know it’s gendered. The friends I have do know the truth, and are supportive and sympathetic, but it’s just difficult when meeting people at work, at the gym, etc - so much casual conversation centers around school schedules, kids sports etc. it just comes up frequently and I lie through my teeth to save face.  Like I said, I carry a lot of shame.

I do need to go back to therapy.  I just wish I could go back in time.  But I appreciate the candor here. And the support.  Thank you all and Merry Christmas.[/quote]

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