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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP and these responses are helpful, but kind of confirm that there would be a judgement/negative assumptions made if I state I don’t have custody without context.  I mean, I get it, but it sucks.  I don’t think people make negative judgements about men who don’t have custody. [/quote]

I definitely make negative judgements about it.

Do you see your kids at all?

Honestly I think the problem here is that you don’t seem to be owning up to whatever led to this. You shouldn’t have been in such a precarious financial situation in the first place and shouldn’t have sent your kids away. [/quote]

This is OP. I see my kids 10 weeks during the year, and travel to see them/coordinate additional travel on top of agreed-upon throughout the year and have since I could afford it.

I was a SAHM and pregnant when I found out my ex cheated, then I took out a credit card to escape an abusive situation.  I was poor and I didn’t get a salaried job until 2021, right after the divorce. I just never had money and my ex was financially abusive so wasn’t able to save anything to leave.  Like I posted previously, no family support or other people I could ask for help.

I do regret sending my kids away, but I was living in a car-dependent place, taking classes and working full-time with my kids in daycare and preschool.  Which I wouldn’t have been able to sustain without a car.  Hindsight is 20/20. I didn’t think my husband would try to keep custody, and would weaponize the custody he had/the court system.

So yeah - your reaction is why I don’t disclose. And probably will continue not to disclose.  People really assume the worst! And I’m not going to tell everyone this tale, obviously.[/quote]

OP most of us would go to a homeless shelter before sending our infants to live with an abusive person. Your story is just really unclear. Also unclear why you didn’t move to where your kids are. I’m not assuming the worst, I just think your circumstances must be different than what you describe. I think therapy for you is probably the best plan as is a plan to move near your kids to get more regular custody every week. [/quote]

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