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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why didn't you get emergency child support from the get go?  You sent the kids to live with a man you knew/thought was abusive.[/quote]

This thread is confirming my fears.  What can I say? [/quote]

Well, you described this horrible man -- and you shipped your kids off to live with him?  Really?[/quote]

I guess I just pray you never find yourself in that position. Thank you anyway.[/quote]

OP, people won't get it until they have been there or seen it close up. I have seen it close up more than once. Financial abusers have you right where they want you by the time the divorce happens. You were impoverished by them and with them through many micro decisions and macro ones that you did not know about or were not able to put a stop to because of the dynamic. It is out of control by the time you manage to leave.

I saw the husband ruin my friend's credit and spend all the cash before leaving, including padding his own nest elsewhere. She was working but drowning in debt, including his purchases that she had tried to oppose. I have talked another friend down who was going to finally give the children to the ex during the separation, because she was out of money and needed to move for the only job she could find. She didn't want to disrupt the kids' schooling and the husband treated the kids much better than he treated her. Her divorce lawyer finally convinced her that doing so would hurt her for custody later. She continues to scrape by on gig work without a real job and is building a legal debt at the same time. It is a mess. Only the people who know how bad the ex is can even imagine how you got in this position.

At some point, you may just be honest about the fact that you were fighting an abusive narcissist and lost. [/quote]

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