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College and University Discussion
Reply to "unsolicited advice from an experienced parent"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got two kids into top schools ED (no I won't name them). I have so much knowledge floating around in my head that I'm now done with. Want to hear it? Read on. Don't want it? Scroll on by. Here you go - Nurture the kid's interests, help them get involved in at least one thing they love. Make suggestions. Encourage involvement and exploration. Research opportunities. But don't force a particular activity or interest. You should be guided what they want to do. They should take the most rigorous classes if they want top schools, but only if they want to and they can handle them. Don't pressure them to get top grades. But do get them support if grades go below a B. One of my kids was a straight A student and put this pressure on themself. The other had a couple of Bs early on. One kid needed a tutor after Covid. They have to want to go to a top college. It's not your college journey. Visit some top colleges and see what they think. Does it appeal to them? In the end, you can encourage and offer them opportunities but you can't make them if they don't respond. It's not healthy to push something they don't want to do. So don't. Mental health is more important than where they go to college. Get them tutoring or a class for standardized prep if you can afford to and if you have their buy in. I offered to pay for tutoring for both but only if they committed to doing the work. They both said yes, so both did tutoring with good results. Take the ACT or the SAT but not both. Take practice tests to see which one they prefer and do better on, then just focus prep on that one test. Take the ACT/SAT early and do the prep the summer before jr year. This only works if they have taken enough math, which advanced track kids generally do. This leaves more than enough time to take it again if needed. My kids were so thankful to get it out of the way early and then you know the scores so you can develop a college list accordingly. Visit schools casually starting the end of sophomore year to determine what appeals to them, such as big vs small, rural vs urban, part of country, etc. You can visit schools in your own area or add visits onto family vacations. Start early in order to be in a position to apply ED because some schools give a big advantage. Also it's awesome to be done so early. Be involved. I did a lot of work researching a college list for both kids. Then we also edited essays and the entire app. Looked at every app before they submitted it. Tracked deadlines. [/quote] Agree with almost everything (as a parent who got a kid who wasn't very self driven into an elite university) Be involved is critical - don't leave it up to them, they have no idea. I disagree with leaving advanced classes, ec's and volunteer up to the child with your guidance. We required volunteer work every summer. We required multiple ec's every year (child pushed back but ultimately did it. Sometimes half heartedly). We encouraged AP classes and set standard of A's. If they didn't meet it, fine, but to everyone's surprise, they did. Setting very high expectations early in HS is critical. Kid never saw themselves as a top student but ended up becoming one. [/quote] This was our family. 1 at Ivy, 1 at T10. Neither really that material. Private HS helped.[/quote]
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