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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing I don’t understand in these situations is other than clear abuse, which is not the experience for the majority of people, why are you trusting that your interpretation of a situation is correct? We look at things through the lens of where we are at. What 10 year old is correct that, “mom loves you best?”  I feel so much of this is adults not willing to think maybe their child self is having a child like response/remembrance? Do none of you have kids? Do none of you see the outsized emotional responses to small situations? But all your remembrances were/are accurate? And you say the parents are the Narcissists 😂[/quote]
At least for me, I'm willing to overlook my childhood.  My parents have issues and trauma from their own upbringing, and expectations for parents were different in the 80s and 90s.

What I'm not willing to overlook is repeated poor treatment of me as an adult.  I've tried all sorts of boundaries over the last 20 years and my parents are still a-holes to me.  They absolutely reject any mental healthcare as fake voodoo, but my dad is absolutely autistic and likely would be considered a narcissist if evaluated.  My mom is likely some version of depressed, manic and borderline personality disordered.  They mostly hate each other but also have an unhealthy co-dependent relationship where my dad needs my mom for basic life tasks (laundry, cooking, executive function) and my mom needs to feel needed.  As an example, my mom was bleeding out from fibroids in her uterus and taken to the hospital for many units of blood, followed by an emergency hysterectomy once her clotting factor was high enough.  She called my dad (who didn't go with her in the ambulance because he was watching the game) and his only question for her was when she'd be making dinner.  She was furious and swore at him.  He had no idea why she was mad and was furious with her for swearing.  She ended up calling one of her coworkers to bring her purse, cell phone charger and glasses to the hospital because he wouldn't.  Yet, their relationship goes on.

I've minimized contact to step away from the drama.  My mom tends to make up fake things that didn't happen and then pins me as the family villain for things I didn't do.  It's impossible to have sufficient boundaries when your disengagement means they just make up things about you.

So yeah, maybe my childhood memories aren't perfect.  By my recent memories are absolutely clear.[/quote]

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