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Reply to "Processing grief and complicated family dynamics"
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[quote=Anonymous]Assuming this wasn't a case of her getting her dad's portion while your mom got your dad's portion, OP you have every right to feel resentment. I don't find the posts helpful that tell you it's just money and she can do as she pleases or encouraging you to get over it. You are allowed to have your feelings. Let them flow, process them until you are ready to truly decide you are ready for radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is deciding yes this was rude, unfair, ridiculous, awful and you wish it didn't happen, BUT, you will accept it and move forward. I had something similar but different where I truly felt used. I take the high road and don't show it to anyone, but I feel it. I almost wonder if people take for granted the person there for them the most. It still stings sometimes, and I allow the feelings to flow but not take over. I do feel like life rewards me to make up for it. Like in the few years since it happened, I got an unexpected raise and a bonus, and so did my husband. People will tell you it's not about the money, and shame you for feeling hurt, but you are allowed to feel hurt when people do this. It's like going up to a group of little kids and giving big delicious cookies to just one of them and giving the rest of them each a cheerio, then telling the others to suck it up and it's not about the cookie. If nobody got a cookie there would no issue, but if you are giving out cookies, you do it fairly! :) Don't tell me maybe one kid is hungrier, and she assumed one kid hates cookies.[/quote]
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