Reply to Friend’s 10th grader anxiety & math

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Friend’s 10th grader anxiety & math"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For background, I have a group of friends that started as “mom friends”. Our kids are now in HS and not necessarily close anymore, but the mom friendship has remained.  The kids have diverse sport, hobby and academic interests and strengths. We listen and give advice to each other, cheer each other’s kids on in their successes, etc. even if our kids are no longer best friends. The kids are all tenth grade.
In the group, one boy is already in AP Calculus.  My son is in CP Alg II. Some are in geometry.  Our kids are not “competitive” with each other academically - they are all on their own path. 
My son took Alg I in 8th grade with one of his friends, “Cayden”. Cayden has anxiety, ADHD, and is mildly “on the spectrum”. He has come a long way from where he was in elementary as far as outbursts and ADHD and meltdowns.
At the end of 8th, he told his mom he wanted to repeat Alg I because he was not confident about his ability. In 9th, he repeated Alg I and did well, but also went to Mathnasium to help reinforce concepts.  His mom put him in a crammed summer geometry class, and all summer I listened to her frustration over his performance in it, not getting work done, not understanding the concepts, him being anxious and overwhelmed… He did pass and tested well at the end and she pushed for his placement in Honors Alg II.
Now I am listening to her complain about how far behind he is in Alg II and how he is anxious and stressed. She is looking to get him a tutor. I asked why she pushed for Honors, and she said “he tested well so I know he can do it… And he isn’t doing well because the teacher is bad.”
I know my part is MYOB and just listen… but I think it’s bad to push an anxious kid into an honors class just because they tested well. I also wonder if she is being competitive with the family whose child is already in AP Calculus and feels her son should be as advanced. I don’t know why she is pushing her son so hard. The 11th gr science and math options in the school are the same whether you take CP Alg II or Honors Alg II. 
I am going to keep my mouth shut about it… just wondering what other’s thoughts are on this.

[/quote]

My thoughts on it are that you have a legit reason to be annoyed or frustrated with your mom friend's complaints, and I can't understand at all why what you said here isn't a conversation you want to initiate with your mom friend.  You can ask from a place of curiosity, combined with knowing that maybe mom should help her DS manage his anxiety better first and try backing off for a semester and letting him do whatever the non-AP version of his math level is.  Also does the DS see any kind of therapist?  What does the therapist think about his anxiety about school?  Does the mom talk about that at all?  Since mom continues to complain to you, why don't you ask these questions?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics