Reply to Remarried -- how best to structure my will/trust for my adult children.

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[quote=Anonymous]I have two trusts (and blended family). One is for assets that go directly to kids and other that go to my spouse (who has a trust that leaves some things directly to his child/our step kid and the rest to my and our kids).  OP should be able to discuss with lawyer and figure out what's fair....however the house is going to be messy, as OP's fiancé has already paid into it so she is owed more than just a life estate and she may need th money

Personally I would explore a couple options with an estate lawyer who may be able to come up with equitable scenarios. Can OP "pay bacK" the money fiance has put in (and any appreciation) via his investments or retirement account so that she has a chunk of change? If she has paid in 150k, he should create an account for c. 150k for her. I would have her not pay the mortgage but instead save for her own retirement and help with household expenses and do a life estate where the house ultimately goes to the kids, along with the rest of the monies.

please don't do what my dad did, which was tie up all his money in several joint properties with his wife (who hates us for inexplicable reasons), and its all in a revocable joint trust. If he passes first (and he will as he's older and not healthy), it initially goes to her, but his half is supposed to go to us when she passes. However, the minute it goes to her, she can and likely will change the trust (it will still be revocable) to cut us out, even though she is independently quite wealthy and has no kids of her own. I mentioned this and he somehow believes that she will "do the right thing," even though she has consistently demonstrated resentment toward us and in general is just batsh$t crazy and gets incredibly angry at the drop of a hat (which is likely why she has no contact with almost her entire family and former close friends). I also think about my best friend, whose dad had early onset dementia and his second wife of 2 years redid the will with him 3 days before he died to leave his assets all to her, which was definitely something he said over and over again he would never do. they challenged it and settled before it reached court but not before it reached 40k in litigation fees. [/quote]

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