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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We’re discussing marriage (not married yet). He’s evangelical, I’m atheist.

No real issues yet but I’m sure they’re coming. Being unequally yoked and all. We both try to be respectful and we don’t argue with each other. But we do talk about it a lot and listen to the other’s viewpoint. And I do understand that religion got him through some very, very dark times in his life. So I always try to be respectful.

As long as he doesn’t try to convert me I’m good. I’m sure he will at some point, though. Kinda worries me that’ll be the end of our relationship.[/quote]

I honestly don’t get this viewpoint, but I’m not particularly “spiritual” or whatever.  
If it’s important to him (and probably his entire family), and you don’t care, then why not just go with it?  Who cares?  Do you need to have “devout atheist” written on your tombstone?  Aren’t there more important things?  
[/quote]

PP. I was raised evangelical, and I will never, ever get sucked back into any religion. I do not at all agree with most of modern-day Christianity.

Also, I just don't feel it. I have never felt spiritual. I have never felt like God exists. Things like praying were always a struggle for me, because I just don't FEEL any of it.

And I think it's overall pretty stupid for women to need to pretend to believe what their man believes just to make him happy.

Now, if he wanted me to go to church with him for support, happy to do that a couple times a month. He says grace before eating, I wait until he's finished before I start eating. Happy to accommodate things like that. But, nope, I will never convert. [/quote]

It sounds like you aren’t “not spiritual.”  It sounds like you have a pretty big chip on your shoulder.
  
 Waiting for your spouse to say grace while you sit there silently and refuse to say it with him just seems passive aggressive.

If it’s important to you to live your life without religion, then you should marry someone who isn’t religious.  [/quote]

Huh? He likes to say it silently to himself. I’m polite and wait for him to finish. If he wanted to say it out loud that’s fine with me. I wouldn’t say it myself because it’s not authentic for me and I don’t even know what to say. I could do a generic feeling gratitude thing like on thanksgiving, but me not wanting to thank a being I don’t believe in isn’t passive aggressive.

Super weird that you think spouses need to play pretend and be someone they’re not just to make each other happy. I wouldn’t want my spouse doing anything they’re uncomfortable with just to appease me. That’s pretty narcissistic. [/quote]

Okay.  You are right.   It’s a good idea to make a lifetime commitment to someone who regularly does something that makes you uncomfortable.  
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