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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, OP, my parents are exactly like this.  It's really sad and depressing for me.

There is no strained relationships, I think it's just that they aren't, and never really were, family-oriented people.

They retired very early (58) and decided to move clear across the country to California, to a town where they knew no one and had never been to before.  They had absolutely no reason to move out there, no family out there, but they liked the idea of the California lifestyle and it was very different from the East-coast boring hometown I grew up in.  I was okay with their move even though that same year DH and I bought a house and decided to settle in our current area (we've been here 20 years now).  I was still okay with their move until my kids were born--I thought they would decide to move closer. But no.  They were content being once a year grandparents.  Meanwhile they traveled the world (multiple International trips per year) but still only saw us once a year.  Keep in mind that they were retired, finances were not an issue, it's more that they weren't interested in being a part of our lives.

I asked them to move closer multiple times during those years, and they refused.  Most recently, we had a discussion about it one year ago, when they started to slow down, but they still refused and they said they will never move.  This really upset me because it is a 6 hour plane ride for me to come out there.

My kids are now 10 and 12 and they have seen their grandparents once a year on average.  We usually go there over the summer.  They have missed out on so much, but they don't seem to mind.  They like how things are and have no plans to change it.

I do feel abandoned by them, and I have a lot of resentment towards them.  Their refusal to move closer once the kids were born has caused our relationship to become strained.  We're pleasant and polite, but distant.

I wish it were otherwise, but I have just accepted this is the way things are.[/quote]

Well when they get sick and need help, they’re on their own [/quote]

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