Reply to Is there any expectation on a family member who stays “postpartum”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh man this was the low point in my relationship with my ILs. Traumatic birth, then they showed up and demanded to stay at our house despite being told they needed to stay at a hotel, took the baby out of my arms and told me to go lie down and despite my protests, made a big scene about all the things they were going to do with the baby and declared they were coming once a month for the rest of baby’s childhood, ate the last of our prepared food and bread before [b]finally going to a hotel after my husband put his foot down.[/b] Not entirely their fault but they are unable to be helpful (MIL is unwell and FIL is pretty much her nurse, and they both struggle with traveling) so it was not entirely unexpected, hence the requirement to stay at a hotel but I was not expecting the level of pushback or complete lack of concern for my health or preferences immediately after birth.
. I ended up having pretty significant postpartum issues and it was rough for a while but believe it or not we actually get along reasonably well now. Lots of boundaries and a united front by DH and me. [/quote]  I don't understand why people let other people treat them like trash before putting their foot down. You mean to tell me you let your IL take your newborn out of your arms and demand you go to bed?  Could never be me. If someone tried to snatch my newborn, the spirit of every ancestor I have would materialize behind me. The level of wrath I’d unlock would require a FEMA response team.  I do not play these games. [/quote]

Well I was still unable to walk without help and was still in shock from the trauma of the past few days, plus the declaration that that they would in fact be staying with us despite being told otherwise (my husband was actively arguing with his dad, who tends to be more reasonable) so it took me a minute to pull it together. It was the last time that ever happened but yes I’m still upset that I was put in that position.

But on the whole I agree with you that the only reason we have a relationship as good as we do is because my husband and I have generally, outside of that one instance, been very firm about what we would and would not allow for our family and ILs have decided that they are willing to play by our rules to see their grandchildren. My husband’s siblings have not been consistent and have a much more complex and fractured relationship. [/quote]

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