Reply to Is there any expectation on a family member who stays “postpartum”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Super rude. I remember my MIL doing this after my first was born. She sat on the couch and snuggled the baby while I did housework and even announced “I just want to sit here and snuggle my grandchild!” as I worked. I learned my lesson about being passive and told my DH she wasn’t welcome after our second was born unless she wanted to come and clean and cook all week with no expectations to hold the baby.

She learned her lesson too I guess and showed up and cleaned all week and brought me snacks and didn’t ask to hold the baby. [/quote]

So basically once someone (I guess DH) told MIL what you wanted, she did it. Women need to use their words. No one is a mind reader. I understand how difficult it is postpartum (give had 2 csections), but there are just some super dense people who need to be directly told “can you please do this”. I hate that there are people like this, but there just are. [/quote]

Hah! She knew what she was doing. I had a C section and a blood transfusion. And she sat there and asked me to make her lunch as she held my first baby and I was one day home from the hospital. She even said she knew what she was doing. She said “i know I should help you but I just want to hold my grandchild all day instead”.

And she didn’t need to be “told what I needed” she needed a wake up call that she wouldn’t be seeing her grandkids if that was the type of visitor she was and my husband told her not to come at all. She complained and he cited the exact examples I told him about. She then promised to only be helpful if she was just allowed to visit pretty please. And she WAS helpful. But it’s not because she was clueless the first time. She just wanted to know what she could get away with![/quote]

Well you buried the lead and left all of those details out. Regardless, now you know where you stand with her and should be proud of your husband for working with you as a team and instructing his mother on what she had to do. In the end, you got what you wanted. I am sorry she wasn't more sincere. My own mother can be like this, so you aren't alone in having insincere family members. I have to literally spell it all out for my mother, or else she will just take take take and do whatever she wants. I don't even know why she even comes.[/quote]

I mean, I elaborated a little bit, but the story was the same- I wouldn't say I buried the lede.  And yeah, I think Boomers specifically are used to having things their way constantly. [/quote]

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