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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, I went ahead and invited her. Ball is in her court. The irony is she is so much nicer to her other brother and DIL, who has never even checked in with her for a single holiday in the 5 years they have been married, Thanksgiving Easter or Christmas to see if she would like to join them. They simply spend every holiday with her ex husband. [/quote]
Shaking my head. YOU are the problem. Let it go.[/quote]

How am I the problem?
I feel bad for her because she’s absolutely alone with no family or friends and I will put up with her for 4 days so she’s not alone on Christmas. I don’t enjoy her company because she’s not very kind to me but I put up with it because letting a senior stay home alone on Christmas is sad.[/quote]

Because you’re making this about YOU and YOUR judgment about what is okay and not okay. You’ve decided that it’s sad for MIL to be alone on Christmas. Maybe MIL is fine being alone. But you can’t accept that. So you’ve painted yourself as this martyr who has to suffer through MIL’s poor attitude just so she isn’t alone. It must be so painful to type with all those splinters from the cross you’ve built for yourself. [/quote]

Exactly. If you insist on forcing her into your idea of family time, then don't complain when she's not happy about it, for God's sakes. Not everyone thinks like you, not everyone shares your idea of how much togetherness is acceptable, and that's a GOOD THING.  We need a diversity of peoples and thought patterns in our species.

You're so incredibly judgemental, OP. Stop looking down on people who want to live their lives differently.

[/quote]

Then why even have kids? If you have no interest in them? [/quote]

This is a red herring argument and you know it. Don't you dare use it against us lawyers of DCUM :-)

We're telling you that you can't force your holiday and family ideals on this person. You wouldn't like it if someone else wanted to force their ideas on you, would you?

So stop complaining. [/quote]

Dp but she's free to decline right? That she always accepts indicates she doesn't want to be alone, even if she's a curmudgeon.[/quote]

+1. I've learned that some people just are naturally critical and curmudgeonly. It comes to them as naturally as breathing and were never loved enough to overcome this tendency. Your job is to let it float off you into the ether. [/quote]

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