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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Had a frenemie in law school who became an enemy. She started dating the guy she knew full well I liked. I was struggling with my weight and she was skinny and pretty. She had what I call the "curling iron gene" -- one of those women who seems to just automatically know how to do their hair and makeup with ease, and knows what to wear. I hated her for taking this guy. Then we were in competition for a leadership position on law review -- someone I really respected pushed her for it, but she didn't want to do it so she took herself out of the running, and then I didn't get that position either. I became kind of obsessed with hating her and turned the guy against her. What can I say, I was young.

I'm a partner at a firm now, and she hasn't practiced for years, but I still feel less than compared to her. She posts pictures of herself with her husband on vacation or with her horse, and is as pretty as ever, and it stings every time I stalk her page and see how pretty she still is. Every time I tell myself I won't look at it again, but then six months later I do. I know this is messed up. [/quote]

By this definition I've definitely had a nemesis! I didn't think of it that way though. It was more like "this woman I hate more than I should because I'm jealous of her for specific and yet somewhat nonsensical reasons." I had a friend/coworker who was like this -- pretty and popular in a seemingly effortless way that I will never be. But I only started hating her because she was a crap friend to me, just talked down to me a lot, would make these little backhanded comments to highlight the ways in which she was better than me. I ditched her as a friend because who needs that, but wound up kind of obsessed with her just because I felt simultaneously hurt, jealous, threatened, and rejected. Would stalk her social media until I forced myself to block her just to break the habit. It's such a weird kind of hate, like "I hate you but can't stop paying attention to you."

But I also see it makes no sense to be jealous of her. At this point she's not even pretty or particularly popular. She has a rich husband but she had a rich dad so this is predictable and just status quo for her. The way she treated me indicates she's actually just as insecure as I am, because content people aren't nasty, undermining friends. And other than the rich thing, I'd way rather have my life. But it's like I can't help still feeling this twisted connection to her.

But still not sure she's a nemesis. I just hate her, were not actually competing.[/quote]

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