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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can this man child  at twenty six not visit who he wants when he wants? 
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OP here. 1000%. He is welcome whenever wherever, and since he isn't earning money yet, we will absolutely facilitate in any way we can. In response to others, we aren't going to sit home doing nothing because he's at his moms celebrating Christmas. But I wish the negotiating between the exes would stop. I can't speak for his mom, but absolutely no hard feelings on this end with his choices. Our daughter left town over Christmas break last year to visit friends, no issue, so this isn't a step kid/bio kid thing ![/quote]

If he's welcome to visit whenever, then why do you want to know when he's arriving?[/quote]

NP. Oh good grief, because it’s nice to be able to plan your life? My husband is welcome to be in our house whenever (because he lives here!) but I want to know if he’s going to be out of town or if a trip I thought he was going to be on will be over early or if he’s not going to be home for dinner — surprises are logistical headaches. [/quote]

Having divorced parents is a logistical headache! Planning holidays between your parents who can't stop bickering over TWENTY-FIVE YEARS is a logistical headache. So I'm glad you're coming to see that being in a stepfamily does indeed involve logistical headaches. For everyone. Nobody is going to be happy with this situation and that includes you. You married a man with a child and a difficult ex, and here you are experiencing the natural consequences.

Again, you have a DH problem here. I haven't a clue why your DH can't nail down an agreement with his ex. I haven't a clue why your DH is being so particular about the beach trip being 10 days vs. 9. And I haven't a clue why it's your problem. If your step-son shows up, can't it be your DH's responsibility to figure out meals and put sheets on the bed and stuff like that?[/quote]

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