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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You were wrong to expect this would pass. This is why it sucks to have [b]dysfunctional family dynamics[/b] . The logistical work never ends. It may never improve. If he has children it may be worse then. I do this with my parents and I loathe trying to coordinate everything. Wish I could just go home and have it be simple.

If you want him to just decide and announce his plans, you will have way less control of the schedule. Do you like that?

Your DH needs to suck it up. He chose to have a child with this person and that is on him. Set boundaries for his complaining to you. [/quote]

Fixed that for you.

We have conversations about our plans and are considerate so this doesn’t happen. My SS is 32 and married himself. His wife is a nurse. When DIL works Thanksgiving or Christmas, he visits his mom. When DIL doesn’t, they visit us or her mom. They won’t have kids so maybe that’s why it is all less fraught for us. [/quote]

It's very rude of you to edit my words. And no, it's because of the divorce. My family functions well. Yet, it's still logistical work to plan across two households. No matter how well people get along, it's still a chore. Stop trying to pretend it isn't a burden to your stepson. It is. And maybe that's part of why no kids.[/quote]

1. Common practice online

2. It’s only a chore because you are inserting yourself in the decision making. Just say, “You are welcome when you can make it!” and actually mean it. You don’t have to do more.

3. My SS and DIL won’t have kids because her health is the priority over reproducing.[/quote]

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