Reply to Some take it or leave it reflections on eldercare, 18 months in

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Some take it or leave it reflections on eldercare, 18 months in"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also bristle at taking away things from them - if someone has capacity, you cannot do that. I am simultaneously touched that you took the time to share what’s been helpful to you but I also find some of it a little bit offensive. Maybe because I’m 55 and not so far from my 60s. And maybe because I work with elderly and have many people in my life who are still vibrant and active into their 80s.[/quote]

There are so many people who deteriorate before 70, though, especially when it comes to decision-making and vulnerability to scams. And just because someone is legally competent - or " vibrant" - does not mean they can functionally care for themselves. It's really hard.

My mom is 75 with a mobility issue affecting her legs. She recently bought an expensive new car. Could I legally stop her? No. Was the purchase wise? Also no. Is it a sign of increasing problems with impulse control? IMO yes but there's a lot of room to argue. [/quote]

Was this impulse control an aspect 
of her personality prior to aging? Isn’t some of this their personality (that may have been exacerbated by aging)?[/quote]

I'm the PP with the mom. It's really hard to tell because the changes associated with aging start earlier than people like to admit and mental deterioration happens over decades. You don't flip a switch at 67.

Also, when my mom was 50 I was an adult living outside the house and when she was 40 I was a tween. So I am not really in a position to say what is personality and what is aging.[/quote]

I am OP. This is all so true! I struggled for some time trying to decide if certain traits were part of my father’s personality or it was aging. I’ve now decided it wasn’t really important. I have someone who is not always pleasant to deal with, so I’ll treat it as a given. The consensus with my singling is that our father was always fundamentally lacking personality wise, character wise, but was great at putting on airs. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics