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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents, adult brother, adult sister and me all live within an hour of each other. My sister and I take turns hosting Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas for all of our families. This year I'm dong Thanksgiving and my sister is doing Christmas. Everyone is invited: my parents, siblings, kids, holiday guests and strays etc.

But my brother always declines to host and attend these gatherings. His family just does their own small thing or they go out of town. His wife's family has passed away so it's not like they're spending time with them. This has been going on for years. He does take our parents out for holiday meals at restaurants and sometimes invites my family. Is he being rude by not hosting everyone and/or coming to our holiday get togethers?

I should also add there's seemingly no estrangement. Because he does see my parents separately. And my kids, his kids and our sister's kids all hang out and do playdates so we see each other about once a month. Just not on holidays. What's up with that.[/quote]

PP from post above. You also refer to him as he and not they he is married why are you ignoring his wife and they aren’t just your brothers nieces but THEIR nieces they are married, correct? So it’s your SIL’s nieces as well but it seems you prefer to ignore her in this context so I don’t blame her if she prefers not being in the company of people who only refer to or regard her husband but acts like she doesn’t exist[/quote]
NP. When people get married - they are still individuals. It is weird that you think they morph into one blob.
[/quote]

No one said anything about them morphing into one blob but in these cases she is referring to they are a unit but referring him just as a he it sounds like she doesn’t mean or she is being dismissed or he is a single man you say it’s just his niece but if he is married they are her nieces as well. If people go to travel they say I’m going to my sister/BIL’s house or brother/SIL’s house or their house bc it’s both of their houses not just the one. She doesn’t do it just once she repeatedly says just he ignoring the SIL in this equation and part of the family and maybe the brother and SIL pick up on this and prefer not to be around them [/quote]

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