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[quote=Anonymous]OP, Of course your kid is scared about college.  Being an adult in this world is scary and an average kid whose parents are not sufficiently clued-in and actively guiding them is in for a bumpy ride.

IMHO - [u]you need to do the following to get her prepared[/u] -

-  Parents, don't get divorced, have a functional, intact and happy family - with no abuse, adultery or addiction . 
-  Have the money to fund the college education of your kids. Let them know if you can afford only state schools. 
-  Reassure her that she will always have a home with you, throughout her life.  This is the reality for kids around the world. They are not thrown out of their homes when they become 18.
-  Map out her complete academic and EC path (and timeline)  - with an eye towards college admissions for the next 3-4 years.  Find out what kind of prep she needs and arrange for that, teach her to organize her work and time, and make sure that she is working under the supervision of you and her counselor.    You can use chatGPT to have a good idea and starting point. 
- Going to a college that suits her needs, is close to home and makes sense financially - is perfectly ok. 
Remember, you and your kid needs to be in a close partnership where they trust that you love them and wants the best for them.  Only then they can listen to you and follow you.  Trust and communication is the key and that means that you also need to walk the walk.

- Start teaching her adulting stuff like --
- [u]Have a daily 1.5 hr routine in the morning[/u] - making her bed, straightening her room, being organized with her personal belongings,  personal hygiene and health,  having a nutritious breakfast,  being properly hydrated. 
- [u]Nutrition[/u] - teach her what is balanced and good nutrition,  how to make a menu and do grocery shopping based on that and how not to be wasteful, cooking from scratch etc. 
- [u]Laundry[/u] - teach her the correct way to launder clothes and take care of her seasonal attire.  How to store clothes, how to create a good wardrobe with clothes that suit her, how to be always appropriately dressed for the occasion and be well-dressed, age-appropriate and polished.  First impressions get made through how you present yourself to the world.  She should also know how to do basic sewing and mending to maintain her outfits. 
- [u]Cleaning[/u] - teach her to be minimalistic and how to clean and organize the house. She should begin by learning how to clean and sanitize her bathroom every week.  Also, how to clean up the kitchen.  All of this should be done by first helping you do these chores and gradually taking ownership. 
- [u]Car[/u]  - start her by teaching how to keep the interior and exterior clean and organized. Move to teaching how to charge the car or fill fuel. Then start teaching her how to drive and also maintain - tire pressure, how to change tires,  fluid levels, periodic servicing etc.  Yes, even if she is too young to drive, you can teach her road rules, car maintenance etc. 
- [u]Her Brand[/u] - teach her networking, how to avoid and minimize the influence of toxic people, start building her resume, teach her appropriate manners and social graces, let her leave a good, positive and pleasant impression on people.  Teach her to avoid friends who are boy-crazy, vaping, sexting or in bad company. She should be concentrating her energy in her academics, ECs, acquiring and building new skills.
- [u]Safety[/u] - teach her how to be safe in the digital world and in real world.  Teach her to have a clean social media presence.  She can prevent character assassination, drama, bullying and blackmail - if she is not on social media.  Make sure that she learns to stay far away from sex and  partying lifestyle while in HS - because that can derail her life. All of this has to happen by not forbidding her and policing her, but informing her, guiding her and by making her strong, so that she can learn how to make good choices and decisions.

What her fears and anxieties are right now about the future - you can divert her mind from all of that by reassuring her that you will always be there for her.  BUT at the same time, make her skillful, disciplined, discerning, hardworking, goal oriented - so that she can be successful and reselient on her own too.

[/quote]

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