Reply to Venmo/Zelle requests on wedding invitation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]5 years ago I would have really gotten upset and muttered endlessly about it being tacky. I think now I'm just beaten down and tired. If the young people would rather have money via Zelle than serving spoons, who am I to judge? I'm going through a nasty divorce and my heart breaks looking at some of the things that people lovingly chose for us. It's all just meaningless in the end, so you might as well give them cash so they can choose their own meaningless stuff.[/quote]

That's what Asian people give at wedding, CASH !!!  Average is $400 per couple.[/quote]

Ironically you're replying to me and I married into an Asian family and oddly so many of our guests on that side of the family didn't give us anything. Maybe because I'm white so they couldn't decide on what tradition to follow? I've never figured it out. But at least I don't have to feel mad at his side of the family because there aren't any gifts to look at or give away from them and we've spent or saved what they did give us.[/quote]

Nah, because you're white they weren't worried about maintaining face to non-Asian in-laws.
I'm so sorry, it's still very poor form that the Asian side did not gift anything. Maybe they are used to being invisible immigrants to white folks, I dunno.[/quote]

I am a Chinese man married to a white woman, and my mother loves my wife much more than my two sisters in-law who are Chinese (she actually hates them).  At the wedding, my parents gave us 500K, an expensive honey trip, a luxury condo, and two new cars for me and my wife.  Guests at the wedding who are friends of my parents gave us an average of $500 per person.  After paying for the wedding, we still came out a head of $75K, on top of the 500K that my parents gave us.  It is interesting that my wife's side of the family all gave gift at the wedding registry instead of money, but that's ok.  Different culture, I guess.

My mother loves my wife like her own daughter.  They travel together back to China with our kids four times a year.   My wife even learns to cook some of the Chinese cuisines from my mother.

The point is that Asian people generally do not give gift at wedding, they give money, lot of it...[/quote]

I'm the white PP you're replying to. My MIL and I were very close, or so I thought, until her DS decided to divorce me during a midlife crisis. He is the only son of his generation, so the second he filed, I was basically dead to her. It broke my heart and now I feel betrayed and wonder what of our relationship was real or if I was just there to carry her grandchildren and facilitate her DS's career. But anyway.

As for the rest: I think your family is of a very, very different economic background than ours. That's Moderately Crazy Rich Asians Stuff. In my circle, an ounce of gold or $1000 in a lai see was as good as it got.

So that brings up a good point: what about gold? Can the people screaming "tacky" just give gold? It's an object, and it's also money, and it's tacky, so you can make it whatever you need it to be to suit your argument. Best of all worlds.[/quote]

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