Reply to DH is dismissive of my input about SD(10)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Here we go again with the "resilience". Anyone who doesn't like being buffeted about by the bad choices of others is not "resilient", I guess.
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+1. I'm the poster above with the Dad with multiple marriages/kids and this is what I mean by "damn the torpedoes". These kind of parents bulldoze ahead with plans and the expectation that everyone falls is line is written in stone. Noting the fallout of these choices is not an indication of absence of resilience. It's acknowledgement of reality. OP course your teens have no issues with these choices. What if they did? As PP pointed out, the kids aren't in charge. So kids do what everyone else does; they suck it up. SD will do the same, eventually. That's not the same as "having no issues".

I do have empathy for OP however. She brought this up to her H and his suggestions are "stop nagging me" and "work it out with my exW", and in exchange maybe he'll work a bit less (unlikely; they have 4 kids now, soon to be 5). The emotional gymnastics required to then turn around and call this guy "a great husband and father" are impressive.

I wish you luck OP...it's a long road. Your H can keep the blinders on and (maybe truthfully to him) crow to anyone who'll listen that everyone was always fine. As the person holding down the home fort, it will be harder for you to say it and believe it. Work to build a real relationship with your SD. You'll both be in each other's life forever, if all works out. Better that there's real love there; tolerant indifference is the next alternative.[/quote]

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