Reply to Guilt over assisted living for parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much medical care is too much to keep doing and maintain at home? My sisters are saying it’s time for assisted living. Helping with showering, etc with my father. I still work, I have a son and daughter in college. Taking full time care of my father. He can’t even get out of bed alone.

I’m getting so tired and grumpy. My husband doesn’t help, but we spend all our time with my father sitting in our home.

How to alleviate the guilt? Deal with the anger of no sibling help at all? Deal with years of missing life and so resentful. [/quote]

Your sister is right. She has boundaries. Your anger is misplaced. You made these choices. In assisted living he could have social stimulation with peers and when you visit you would not be burned out. There is no need to be a martyr. He can get proper care without being with you all the time.[/quote]

Just wanted to add I say this as someone who was in your shoes and angry that no only did nobody appreciate my years of sacrificed, it got erased and my parent preferred the sibling who did nothing. Yes, care facilities are understaffed, but IMO it's safer than being with a burned out adult child and hired caregivers in a home isolated.[/quote]

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