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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have four kids.  We’ve paid for college and grad school for all, nice weddings for the three who got married, and yes provided down payment assistance to the ones who bought houses.  In one instance, we even set up a private mortgage for one of the kids—where we were the lender—because they had just got out of college and landed a nice job and a great condo had just gone on the market at a good price right where they were going to work.   They had the qualifying income but hadn’t been working long enough to qualify for a bank loan.   A year or two later they refinanced and got a bank loan and paid us off.

The point is, you do what you can and adjust to the circumstances.  Giving each kid a set $100k amount for a “down payment” is stupid—you wait and see what the actual need is and help then.  And when doing it you don’t keep score.  [/quote]

So if a kid mismanages everything about life and constantly needs $2-3k per month to live you provide it? And they are not disabled/special needs or any reason they cannot be highly successful. 
 What if the other kids are responsible adults, do well in college and have great jobs.  Do those kids also get $2-3k per month or since they can manage themselves they don't get much?

It's a great way to setup anger amongst the kids.

Now I do get, if you agree to provide for grandkids college, nobody gets more or less--each grand kid should get the same amount and mom and dad don't get extra for not having as many or any kids.

But beyond that, you give equally.  If one gets $50k for a wedding and 40k for a down payment, then any others should also get $90k, and still get it if they don't have a wedding [/quote]

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