Reply to Brother-in-law asked for $5k

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have helped out siblings and it has enabled them to buy homes, pay off debt, send the kids to college, pay for medical bills etc.  We help out siblings and parents - no question asked.  But, the money has to go for long term benefit for them and to elevate them out of whatever financial hardship they are going through - now and later.

Our family lives in our country of origin.  We are unable to physically be there to help anyone.  So, we depend on our family to look after each other and to become self-sufficient or affluent.  Family has done well and that has meant that we don't have to worry about their old age, their kids etc.

In return - they have helped in their own way to look after our property, to sell our property, to help in the million details of our kids weddings etc.

A rising tide, raises all boats.  We want to help our entire extended family(hard working, genuine need, no addiction or criminality, moral)  so that our future generations can do well. 
[/quote]

It sounds like your relatives are responsible productive adults.

How OP described BIL does not sound like he is willing or able to do any of those things.

OP should not fight his DW on giving the money, but he has to have a clear conversation about this being it and that BIL is not welcome to move in with them when/if he can’t make rent or his parents kick him out.

He may recommend that his DW asks what the money is for and pay it directly to help ensure it is actually going to something productive. But in the end it’s her relationship with her brother, and OP has said giving the $ (this one time) will minimally impact their own finances.[/quote]

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