Reply to Do you feel attractive still but your spouse has no interest in you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Its ok. I get hit on all the time but it's cobwebs with DH. Don't seek validation from your spouse. Flirt for a quick dopamine hit bit mostly work on yourself. I think maybe that's why i look so good?  Just a lot of time for self care[/quote]

Your post explains why he isn’t into you, men lose all respect for their spouse when they flirt with other men.[/quote]

Not all men?

And why would you begrudge your wife from the positive attention that you can’t give? I’m sorry you feel emasculated and insecure, but that’s on you not your wife. [/quote]

The one seeking attention from others is the one that is insecure, when a spouse is chasing that feeling they tend to be dismissive of their spouse, which isn’t attractive to anyone.  Being hit on feels good, but needing or inviting the validation changes who you are as a person.  Every relationship is different, but on this forum it seems that intolerance, comparisons, insecurity, unrealistic expectations, boredom and selfish behaviors are the common themes for the destruction of marriages and families.

It is true that some men like their wives engaging with other men, but that’s not how I read the situation in the post.   I know a few divorced women that got addicted to the validation of flirting and ended up cheating.   They all have similar stories of a slippery slope of chasing the attention and it took over their lives.   They seemed to genuinely regret their divorces and all said they felt insecure  during that time.

Most people want a spouse they are proud of in public, but dirty at home.  Validation chasing seemed to change a person.  They have to appear available and act accordingly, so they behave different and eventually they become available.  
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